Like many other kids, my 14-year-old son has struggled since babyhood with all kinds of trouble from restricted airway issues. He completed orthodontia and the last step was to have the tongue tie and lip tie released. No matter what angle we took or how much explaining we did there was nothing that could ease the fear of an upcoming procedure he viewed as “hacking out part of his tongue” and “pealing his upper lip back from the top of his mouth”. Nor could he completely understand why we would want him to do such a procedure in the first place. He thought we were crazy because we believed that many of the issues he struggled with (bed wetting, snoring, mouth breathing etc.) were due to the mouth/ hard pallet not forming correctly because of something so silly as a tongue/lip tie. So at age 11 when we tried to schedule the procedure, I was not surprised when it was met with “I am not gonna do it” and complete resistance. 

I tried again a year later at age 12 with no better cooperation on his part. When he was turning 14 I decided to try again one last time. This is when we met Sarah.  As we pulled up in the car to that first appointment and the protesting began I met it all with “This is just a visit to gather information, that’s it, and if you decide you don’t want to do it then we go no further.”  Sarah did a complete evaluation, asked him questions, and looked in his mouth to see how it worked. She gave him a lot of information that day. She explained the procedure and why she thought he would benefit from it. Then gave him instructions on what he needed to do on his part to be ready for the release. He left that appointment and for the first time had an understanding of everything we had been trying to explain to him since the braces came off. He knew now why the release was important, the exercises he needed to do, and the reason he was doing them. Not just memorizing exercises but a full understanding of what the goals of therapy really were. He had a chance to ask questions and then the decision was left up to him. He chose to proceed with therapy so we went home to do exercises twice a day and then made a follow-up appointment to check in on how things were going.

As I feared, Kasey required a lot of Mom reminders to actually be doing the exercises and was not doing them twice a day every day. Sarah held him accountable. She asked him to grade himself on how he felt he did. He squirmed and answered honestly. Gave himself a D or an F for the effort he was putting in. Really I would have graded him a little better than he graded himself. I would have given him a C or a C minus. She made him realize that no one can do the work for him. The effort he puts in is gonna make the difference in what kind of an outcome he has in the end. Sometimes helping that kid “ buy in” and find the right motivator to get it done just needs to come from a higher authority than a mom. Like a coach or a teacher. For Kasey it was Sarah.  That appointment was over a week ago and I can say now that after the discussion with Sarah, Kasey has gone from being a D or an F student to a C plus student and improving by the day student. He will never be an A student but considering where we were a year ago, the kid that would do nothing at all is now at least participating in his own plan of care, with minimal mom

Reminders. I appreciate the patience Sarah has shown. Most providers would say: You aren’t doing what I asked you to do, come back when you have. The patient leaves frustrated and is lost to care. Sarah said: why are you not doing the exercises and what can we do to help you remember them and that is what Kasey needed to take ownership for himself. 

~ Happy Mom